


but i’m scaring myself

by SongstressTinyTeacup



Category: Hadestown - Mitchell
Genre: F/M, Hades reassures her, Implied Sexual Content, Marital anxiety, Persephone worries, Soft boy Hades, but nothing is graphic, they do strip each other down
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 11:34:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20873531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SongstressTinyTeacup/pseuds/SongstressTinyTeacup





	but i’m scaring myself

The train whistle’s shriek was always very distinctive, a sure sign that it was time for fall.

It didn’t bother Persephone, if anything, it excited her.

The goddess of spring was always thoroughly exhausted by the time fall rolled around, and the notion of getting to cease her duties as a goddess and return to her duties as a wife was always thoroughly refreshing.

“Kore, you better get movin’!” Demeter rapped sharply on her daughter’s bedroom door, mood already soured by the fact that her beloved little girl had to spend the next six months in the underworld.

Of course, Persephone couldn’t care less about her mother’s sour moods, she was going home today.

Home.

Hadestown.

The underworld.

The train whistle’s second sound set Persephone in motion, hastily grabbing her suitcase and her floral tote and slinging the tote over her shoulder, freeing her hand to throw open her bedroom door and head for the stairs.

“Bye, Mama.” Persephone kissed her mother on the cheek, allowing Demeter to pull her in for one last hug for the season.

“You take good care of yourself, you hear me?” Demeter fussed, brushing back a few wild curls from her daughter’s face.

“I don’t have to worry about lookin’ after myself, Mama. That’s Hades’ job now.” Persephone offered a smile, only to be met with a frown.

Then the train whistles a third time, which pries Persephone from Demeter’s embrace and sets her in motion to the train station.

The smile on her face grew bigger as she wonders whether Hades will be wearing those ridiculous sunglasses she bought him when he came up to collect her the first fall. He had complained of how much brighter the world above was, and she had been so pleased to pull out the darkest pair of sunglasses she had been able to find after she had spent weeks looking.

Still, he only wore them until they sat down in their compartment, and on every trip that they took back home within minutes the sunglasses would go on the bar cart and be forgotten until Hades escorted her back up for the spring.

The smile continued to grow until Persephone made her way through the crowd who had come to see her off and she finally stepped up onto the wood planks of the platform and noticed that the one person she had been the most excited to see was absent.

Her heart plummeted straight through her feet and into the earth beneath them, but she kept that gods-blasted smile plastered on her face if only to keep up appearances.

Hermes met her halfway, taking her suitcase and tote from her hands and moving to stash them in the otherwise unused luggage compartment, then returned to escort her onto the train.

Much as Persephone had wanted to cry, to scream, to demand answers as to why Hades had decided not to make the trip up to collect her, she continued to smile and act as though nothing was amiss.

Persephone had heard the stories about Hera’s tantrums when she discovered Zeus’ infidelity, and she had no intentions to allow herself to plummet from social grace like Hera had.

Hermes moved his hand from the small of her back, intending to take his usual place at the front of the train with the driver Charon before Persephone whirled around and caught his wrist.

“Tell Charon to get moving, then come sit with me.” Persephone demanded, finally dropping the smile in the dark safety of her train compartment, the shade over the window pulled down to allow her some privacy from the prying eyes of the mortals.

Obviously a decision Hermes had made.

The messenger god nodded once, then slunk off to the front of the train while Persephone settled herself on one section of the plush seat waiting for her.

It was usually Hades’ spot, and though he wasn’t there to occupy it, if Persephone focused hard enough she could almost smell the faintest hint of his cologne from the fabric of the seats.

Not quite the same as being able to smell it on his skin, but it would have to do given Hades had seen fit not to show up this time.

Anxiety began to bubble up in the very pit of her stomach as she wondered why Hades opted not to come up, he had seemed happy enough in his last letter, which didn’t ease Persephone’s mind.

Hades usually moped and puttered around through the entire six months that Persephone spent up top, often stating that their letter exchanges were the only things that kept him even remotely sane. On more than on occasion Hades would tell her how much he missed her and how fall couldn’t come soon enough, and that he was tempted to wait by their tree just to be able to catch a glimpse of her.

His second-to-last letter that summer had said much the same, so why had Hades not come?

Then, as if an answer to a silent prayer, Hermes had returned and closed the door to the compartment. It wasn’t necessary, no shades had been brought onboard this trip, but it made Persephone feel better all the same.

“I suppose you want an explanation, sister.” A statement, not a question. Hermes knew damn good and well that was what Persephone wanted.

“I just need to know if he’s taken a mistress, Hermes. I need to be able to prepare myself if he has.” Persephone blurted out, words leaving her tongue faster than she’d intended, and all the while her eyes began to water with tears.

Hermes furrowed his brow, which made Persephone feel absolutely sick.

Was this a confirmation of her fears?

“Why would you think that? Hades loves you entirely too much to even _consider_ taking on a mistress.” Hermes inquired, sitting down just as the train lurched forward into motion.

The lurch made Persephone flinch and grip the armrest so hard her knuckles turned white. Hades would usually have laughed at her reaction, teasing her about a simple train being the thing that scared her outta her wits.

Persephone would argue back, of course, saying that there should be some kind of warning to alert them that they were starting the trip, and not relent until Hades had promised not to laugh at her anymore.

“Why isn’t he here, Hermes, if he ain’t taken a mistress?” 

Hermes furrowed his brow again, and it was all Persephone could do to refrain from smacking him and telling him to spit it out.

“He went to take a new group of workers into the mines for a tour before he handed them over to the foreman, but the foreman said that no one ever showed up. Not Hades or the new employees.” Hermes sighed, watching the look on Persephone’s face morph from confusion to understanding, and back again.

“You don’t think that something _happened_ in the mines, do you?” Persephone murmured, almost like she had fallen into a trance.

Hades had told her early that summer that a number of his best employees had been promoted to overseeing the packing of shipments bound for Olympus, which usually meant a big order had been placed. He’d mentioned hiring on a couple of extra workers to take the place of those who’d been promoted.

Had the new workers taken action to hurt Hades?

“I don’t know. Before I came up I had the foremen from the factories send out search parties, hopefully they’ll know something by the time we get back.” The messenger god confessed, which did nothing to settle Persephone’s nerves, nor did the tumbler of whisky she was handed a few moments later.

Thank the gods Hades kept a fully stocked bar on the train, if only to numb his loneliness when Persephone had exited the train and left him to ride home on his own. The good stuff too, none of the watered down alcohols Hades bought for her speakeasy.

Of course, Hades pretended not to know about the bar, turning a blind eye to it more often than not, but he was the one Persephone brought her order list to.

The last two hours of the train ride only made the unsettled feeling in Persephone’s bones grow stronger, until at long last the train pulled into the station at Hadestown and Hermes helped her onto the platform.

It was there that Persephone locked eyes with Hades’ most trusted foreman, who stood still as a statue until she was charging at him as fast as she could, demanding answers.

“King Hades was recovered from the collapse in the south sector mine, he was taken immediately back to the manor.” The foreman hadn’t flinched, but as soon as the last words had left his tongue Persephone was gone.

Heeled boots pounded against the gravel, almost causing her to fall several times as she sprinted the length of the path from the station to the manor, breath coming in short spurts as her brain imagined what horrible state they had found her husband in.

It would have had to be serious, since Hades hadn’t been the one waiting for her on the train platform. It was extremely unlikely that he would simply opt to go home when he found out that the train had gone up to collect her.

The silhouette of the manor could be seen a short distance away, and despite her burning lungs and shaking leg muscles Persephone pushed herself even harder, skidding through the door of her home and slinging the door to a slamming close, then taking off for the stairs as fast as she could.

_“Hades!”_ Persephone forced out in favor of another breath, eyes starting to water when she received no response.

Sliding to a stop at their bedroom door, Persephone ran her hands through her windswept hair and tried to smooth it back to submission, but ultimately slung the door open and bolted into the darkness of the bedroom.

Not three steps into the room did Persephone slam into the form of her husband, his body dripping wet and only just clothed by a pair of pajama pants.

“Lover?” Hades inquired softly, a deep rumble to his voice that finally pushed Persephone over the edge of the emotions she had been trying so hard to repress until she knew more.

Persephone flung her arms around his neck and pressed herself as close to Hades as she could be, the water dripping from his white hair falling onto the skin of her forearms and running down the length of them, her face pressed into his neck and drying the skin there with the intensity of her breath. Her nails dug into the skin of his neck and as she started to weep her tears took the place of the bath water that had previously been there.

His strong arms wrapped her tight in his embrace, and his face came to bury itself in her hair, hands rubbing the length of her back as she struggled to collect herself long enough to craft a legible sentence.

“Don’t you ever scare me like that _ever_ again, Hades. Gods, I was so worried!” She sobbed, removing one of her hands from his neck and using it to slam a fist into his chest to prove her point.

“Hey, hey now. Look at me.” Hades murmured, taking one of his hands to tip her face up and look into her tear-soaked eyes.

Persephone sniffed once, biting down on the inside of her lip as she took in his appearance.

“I wasn’t hurt, lover. Filthy, yes, but not hurt.” Hades stated, using the pads of his thumbs to dry her tears before he pressed the softest of kisses to her forehead.

“You weren’t on the platform when I got here.” Persephone sniffled, more tears falling despite her husbands best attempts to dry them.

Hades cracked the slightest hint of a smile, dipping his head down slightly.

“Didn’t seem right to greet my wife covered in sediment and sweat, didn’t think I spent so long in the bath. I am so sorry, Seph.” Hades apologized capturing her lips with his own and offering her one of his hands.

Persephone didn’t take it, instead moving away from him and bringing her hands up to try and prevent more tears from falling down her face.

Hades watched with confusion as Persephone took a shaky breath and sat down on the edge of the foot of their bed, murmuring to herself to stop crying.

“Drachma for your thoughts?” Hades inquired, taking a towel from the hook on the wall and rubbing his hair dry while he waited.

“They’re not worth that much, Hades.” Persephone spoke lowly, throat thick with tears she’d yet to shed.

“They are to me. I could spend every coin I have just to get a glimpse of what’s going on in your head, especially when you’re upset like this.” Hades was adamant, and Persephone gave a huff in lieu of a laugh, dipping her head back down to hide the tears that she continued to cry despite her efforts to stop.

“It’s just... I thought- never mind. It ain’t important.” Persephone cut herself off, turning her back to him so that he couldn’t see her dissolve into complete shambles.

It was a valiant effort, but it didn’t work.

“What did you think, Seph, when you saw I wasn’t on the train?” Hades inquired softly, taking a step towards her before stopping himself.

Persephone took a large and unsteady breath, and for a moment Hades was sure she’d whispered her reply so quietly he’d managed to miss it, but after a moment of heavy tension and silence, he did hear it.

_“I thought you’d taken a mistress...”_

Those six words knocked all of the air out of his lungs, and for a moment he struggled to take another breath. Then, only then did Persephone turn around to face him, amber eyes drowning with tears as her chest rose and fell, and then, she laughed once.

It was a bitter laugh, one full of resentment. The laugh hadn’t been directed at him, though, it had been directed at herself.

“Fucking _stupid_, wasn’t I? Everything you’ve done for me and at your first absence I _let_ myself think that you’d found solace in another woman’s arms. The look in your eyes tells me that ain’t true, but in that moment I felt my heart start to crack and shatter like glass under pressure. Absolutely fucking stupid.” Persephone whimpered, arms wrapping tight around her rib cage as she openly cried.

Hades’ heart skipped a beat as he crossed to his wife and held out one of his hands tentatively, wondering all the while if she would actually take it.

She did, and when his fingers closed around hers, Hades pulled Persephone into the tightest embrace he could manage without hurting her. He pressed her ear to his chest and made her listen to the thumping of his erratic heart, silent as death until he was confident she had heard it.

“This heart beats only for _you,_ it takes joy only in _you._ I could never be as stupid as my brothers and throw away my life with the most precious thing in all the realms, for something so foolish as an affair.” Hades spoke softly, rubbing up and down the length of Persephone’s back as he did.

Persephone sniffled once,but Hades wasn’t done.

Hands brought her face up to look at his and pressed a thousand kisses up and down her wet cheeks, forehead, nose, and chin, peppering an, “I love you.”, between each kiss.

“Everything I am, everything I do is motivated solely by you. You are the first thought in my brain in the morning, and the last one I think of before I go to bed. The mere thought of you motivates me to level entire realms if I needed to, I would fight the titans on my own if that’s what it took to protect you. You are the only person in all the realms that has ever looked at me and saw something other than the garish, scarred, and quiet king of the underworld, which has earned you my undying love and loyalty. We’ve been married since the world began, and I remain yours until the world ends. You’re the _only_ woman I’ve ever wanted, the only one I’ll ever need. I couldn’t even consider letting someone else into my arms, it ain’t possible, lover. Not for one second.” Hades spoke from his heart, every fiber of his being desperate to make Persephone see that she was the only one for him, it had always been her, and only her.

And while Hades didn’t care for the six months arrangement, it was better than not getting to be with her at all, so he would tough it out for her sake, and treasure each second he got to spend in her presence when it was time for winter.

“I love you.” Persephone whispered, barely audible as the words left her tongue and blossomed in his heart and ears in ways only she could make happen.

Hades brought his face to rest just above her hair, still smelling of sunshine and the late summer flowers that never seemed to leave it, his arms wrapped firmly around her waist as she slung her arms around his neck.

Then her hair was no longer in his face, replaced only by her own face as she kissed him long and hard, grip on his neck tightening until he picked her up to straddle his waist while they stood.

One kiss had paved the way for another, each more desperate than the last on both ends, and finally, Hades set Persephone back on the ground in order to turn her around and kiss at her neck while he undid the back of her dress, all the while her fingers fumbled with the drawstring of his pajama pants.

“Prove it.” She whispered lustily, six months alone had taken it’s toll and they both knew the sting of need that seemed to strike as soon as they were alone together in the underworld.

“Gladly.” Hades growled, finally getting frustrated with the damned dress and ripping through it just to get her in her chemise and stockings, after which he pulled them both towards their bed and all but threw himself back against the plush blankets waiting for them.

From there, Persephone made quick work of his pajamas and Hades did the same of her chemise and stockings, drawn out and greedy kisses peppered to every inch of her skin he had access to.

After their first spring and summer apart, Persephone had been worried that they’d not remember what the other needed in the bedroom. A stupid thing to worry about, as she’d learned after arriving back at the manor, they were miraculously still so in tune with each other that nothing took words.

He knew what she needed, and she knew the same of him, and in the end, after they’d finished for the night, Hades held Persephone close to him and threaded his fingers through her own as he examined the smile playing softly on her lips.

“Hades?” Persephone inquired, shifting to gaze into his darker eyes.

“Mm.”

“Thank you.” 

Hades chuckled, a deep rumble in his throat that he knew she loved to hear.

“I missed you.” He murmured, scooting down to press a kiss to her cheek.

“I missed you too, lover. More than I have words to express.” Persephone murmured back, before succumbing to a yawn she had tried to fight down.

“Sleep now, I’ll still be here when you wake up. We have all winter, and I think it’s gonna be the best one since we were married.” Hades smiled, noticing not but an hour later how Persephone’s breathing slackened off enough to tell him that she was asleep, content to dream in the arms of her husband.

Hades didn’t try to sleep for another hour or so, using every second he had to memorize even the slightest changes he could find in his wife, then bringing her closer in his arms as he allowed himself to drift off to sleep as well.

All was well.


End file.
